CFNM Village Discussion Forum

n/m

While I’m not quite sure that the alpha-male thing makes sense to me, I think you’re totally right when it comes to a guy being confident in his own skin and not really caring if women see him naked or not; this is certainly an important factor to establishing a platonic CFNM relationship. However, she almost has to feel the same way about his nudity for it to be truly platonic in my opinion (i.e., she doesn’t care if he’s wearing clothes or not; it’s a nonfactor in their relationship and the present situation).

To employ an analogy: I meet up with a female friend. I’m wearing shorts, but she’s wearing pants. Neither of us cares that my knees, shins, calves, ankles, etc… are exposed because these parts of the body (especially on a man) aren’t sexualized by our culture. We’re just two friends meeting up. It’s a platonic, non-sexualized relationship. The key in this scenario is culture. If the sexes where reversed, and this was a hundred and fifty years ago in the Victorian Age these parts of a woman’s body would very much be viewed as sexual, and a woman who showed a man her calves might as well have been making an advance to him. On the other hand, there are primitive tribes in the Amazon and in Africa where men walk around completely naked all the time. Sometimes these tribes are visited by female anthropologists, missionaries, and even tourists who are undoubtedly fully clothed. A CFNM situation exists, but it’s completely nonsexual, and potentially even platonic. What changes? Not the state of dress or undress. Culture. Hence, I think true platonic CFNM experiences are extremely difficult to come by in the U.S. today. Our society has hyper-sexualized the human body – particularly the genitals. Maybe if male, casual, public nudity amongst clothed females was more common, as it is in some places in Europe, then this infatuation would dullen over time, but I doubt it would ever become fully inconsequential.

I concur!

Well, if cfnm was very common and the human body was not so sexualized (genitals are made for sex btw!) I guess it would be inconsequential indeed, and as a matter of fact, not so exciting for us...

Agreed, I've been trying to find some good CFNM stories, but I often see them get very sexual and rapey, which I'm not a huge fan of personally. I much more prefer a more casual type of story with no sexual undertones.

I love this idea, and believe that de-sexualizing the human body and its functions are the next step in making sexual functions inconsequential. Men have a capacity to squirt semen, and it is quite natural to squirt it when a man is excited. If women were happy to watch men get hardons and even squirt their semen when they got excited, it would make it easy for men and women to enjoy being naked in front of each other, knowing that men had a need to squirt semen from their penis every once and a while. Squirting into a vagina is one thing, but squirting for anyone to watch is just entertainment. with the man enjoying cumming while the woman enjoyed watching. I would love to see public ejaculations become a normal thing with group exhibitions, allowing women to enjoy seeing a man squirt his seed as he enjoys having people watch him shoot his cum for an audience.

I agree, OP.

I think there is something natural in a way about CFNM. Guys have an innate desire to show off for girls. Girls in turn like to watch and select a suitable mate. This voyeur/exhibitionist relationship is a part of the reproductive process for many creatures, us included. I think it goes both ways as well. I think girls like putting on a show for guys, but in a different, more seductive way. For girls, they like to be covered to allow for some amount of mystique. There is a teasing element to their sexuality in that men want to see them naked but can't unless they prove themselves to be a worthy mate. Boys, on the other hand, like being naked in front of girls because it gives them a feeling of power and swagger. It gives girls something to look at and learn about and it gives boys something to be proud of. There is definitely a sexual thrill on both sides of this.

I think hardcore humiliation scenarios completely lack this nuance and excitement that comes from the nature and innocence. With platonic CFNM, there is an unspoken sexual excitement between the male and the female that I would argue is in someway primal.

Primal is a good word. To me, one important element in CFNM is the conflict between the savage and the civilized. Yes, the male really does want sex - he wants to squirt his semen and 'mark his territory.' He pretty much always has sexual urges running around inside him. It's literally embodied by his body - and especially by that penis he's so happy to put on display.

And let's face it - throughout history (and still too much today) the sight of a naked man is not good news for the women around.

But!

Now it's turned around. 'Civilized' naked man still has those desires, but his nudity isn't a threat. Rather it's his offer of support and companionship and love. And the women's acceptance of that offer seals the deal on a new kind of chivalrous behavior.

But maybe I'm reading too much into it!

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Devoted husband, probably naked right now. I hope you are too!

I don't think you are reading too much into it; I think that was beautifully put, actually. The naked man has connotations of power and lust. There is definitely chivalry in CFNM. In baring himself, the man is offering everything that makes him a man, including the power and lust, in a way that denotes trust and protection. It's like an animal that could destroy and consume her instead choosing to protect her. Chivalry, essentially. The clothed woman represents domestication and civilization, and she is, in a sense, taming him. The "taming" or domesticating of man by woman marks the birth of civilization. It allowed man to create all the wonders that civilization entails. This process was like a naked animal being made man by the clothed women. CFNM is like women taking that power back, as if to say women have the power to revert men back into wild beasts. This may be connected to the prevalence of CFNM in antiquity.

Exactly!

Some of my fondest CFNM times were visiting a friend I'll call Ann who lived 4 hours away in another state. Ann, I, and the woman that would become my wife (Debbie) met in an online chat room. However I used to visit Ann before meeting Debbie in real life, and we were like best buds... nothing sexual. I really didn't want to ruin our friendship with sex. I'm sure everyone thought Ann and I were bonking.. hell even Debbie asked me about it a few times, but the truth was we were just friends. She knew I was a nudist and always gave me the freedom to be nude in her house (except when others were there). We slept together multiple times but never went past a cuddle. Although I do have to admit her nearness and warmth got me hard a few times and I ended up poking her while we spooned.

After my wife and I got married I wasn't sure how if my (un)dress code would change, but on the first visit I found out. We went there for New Years and after arriving, greetings, and unpacking, the women hung out in the kitchen and I camped out in front of the TV. Being clothed started to bug me so I went back to our room, stripped out of my clothes and tied a sarong on. I figured if I had to wear clothes I'd be as comfortable as I could be. I went to the kitchen to get a beer and Ann said "what the hell is this? You're usually naked 5 minutes after you get here". My wife laughed and added, "yeah, whats up? you NEVER wear clothes at home." I checked if they meant it, and they replied yes so I took the sarong off and spent the rest of the time nude until we went out for the evening. I also spent most of the of the weekend nude and they both acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. I only had to dress once when Ann's daughter came over.

We've been back a few times since then and I'm always naked. Ann and I don't sleep together anymore, but the 3 of us did spend a few evenings watching TV in her bed... me in the middle undressed for comfort and my two favorite women in the world on either side of me.

Ain't nothing wrong with more sexual CFNM.. hell I watch a lot of it in porn, but for me I prefer everyday situations where I just happen to be undressed and in the company of clothed women.

Im 99% gay, I actually discovered that I liked CFNM when I was working as a stripper and women came into the club. I didn't expect to be able to keep an erection for them, but I just loved it. Never crossed my mind to have sex with them... and yet I wouldn't quite describe it as platonic/casual.

Since moving to nyc I've found a couple parties where I can be naked for women but the other straight guys kinda scare me lol

That's an interesting perspective. What about them scare you?

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If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. ~ Thomas Aquinas

This dicussion is a great discussion. I've never seen or thought about cfnm im this way before

I am also a nudist and this is exactly how I like a lot of my scenarios. Just laid back and casual, no over the top plots or horrible acting. Just normal situations where I happen to be naked and the other person is not.

Being a nudist and having a decent personality, I've had the privilege of having the opportunity to be naked in front of others without expectations. It's not only physically comfortable for me but there's a sense of satisfaction that comes when I can stand proudly and openly in front of someone without them feeling threatened. I feel like I'm really I'm touch with my masculinity when I'm naked, it's like an almost primitive. I think it gives women a wonderful and safe way to study the male anatomy and interact with men safely but with a bit of fun.

Sometimes there's a little bit of giggling but it can become very normalized very quick. There's a bit of a rush at first but when my adrenaline does settle I feel so content and we can end up having a really wholesome and meaningful interaction.

Totally agree.
If they are dominating it means they expect it, and for me the whole situation fade out.

The same if it's too staged.. somethign like 'Dancing bear' can be quite good. Some of the girls seem genuine but yeah about 90% are porn stars. On one video a girl even gives a guy an hj/bj and says 'that's 50 bucks'.. then realises she's kinda given the game away. I guess the cash incentive is there for any non-pros too.

Years ago I did business with a graphic artist who was a nudist and conducted business with - at best - a skimpy robe on. Mostly nude. And it didn't matter whether it was meeting with men or women, or both at the same time, he just preferred to conduct business that way. It was something he did and didn't spend a whole lot of drama on, so neither did we. Platonic, casual and after a time, normal.

One afternoon we were sitting in his studio - me in a business suit and him stark naked - and I asked him how he'd become so comfortable conducting business that way and he said it was because he felt he could be completely honest when he was naked, that it was his way of showing his partners there was nothing to hide. I respected that then, and respect it now.

In a way it has informed my own lack of drama when it comes to getting naked in front of other people.

Intimate, not sexual, is how I explain it.

Is it possible to enjoy both kinds of cfnm experiences : the platonic or the kind you dont intend or anticipate will become sexual, and the experience which is at the beginning of sex, or at least one hopes or expects will lead to sex. Then there is that special experience in which both sexual and non sexual anticipation occur at the same time -- stripping for a nude massage.
The moment when the masseuse sees you first lying on the massage bed is very fine. At the least it is erotic.

I am old enough to define a handjob, let a lone a blow job as "sex', though I understand that those of you who are younger than my 102 years (more or less) dont call a blow job "sex". I am not confusing cfnm with sex, it is only a form of foreplay or a prelude or kinda innocent. A nude massage doesnt always result in a handjob, it is quasi/crypto erotic. it is full of anticipation -- will she or wont she? Only once did a massage move from a handjob to a blow job to intercourse. Even when a massage does not evolve, it is physically very pleasant and erotic.

Is there dominance in a massage? Your nude, she isnt, but you are the customer, you are paying and tipping, but she has your dick. Who is the boss, and is this the purest CFNM? both parties are dominant and subordinate, your enjoyment is in seeing her see you, her enjoyment is getting paid and the indulgence of seeing a nude man while unexposed and invulnerable.

This is interesting and something a lot of porn is missing. It's all very staged, and mostly female domination which is I think what men think men want? It's not always. Platonic , I would imagine, is difficult as if you get that wrong the friendship or whatever could be completely destroyed. We are a very messed up society in some ways I think, things that could be normal and enjoyable are looked down on, yet other more harmful behaviour is condoned. I love the story from a previous poster about his wife and friend and he's a very lucky boy!

I agree completely