Frequently Asked Questions
CFNM Party FAQs
PREFACE: The owners of this site were the ones that created the term "CFNM" almost 20 years ago, and branded the concept such that men and women could enjoy clothed-female/naked-male activities in the manner originally intended. Over the years, the concept of CFNM has gone viral and through this process, the concept has organically grown to mean different things to different people. The FAQs presented below are provided to enlighten people about the original reasons for hosting CFNM gatherings, and to promulgate a truer understanding as to its original purpose and intent than what many now deem to be "CFNM". We hope these FAQs will provide a foundation for people to understand better the exciting aspects of what a CFNM gathing can bring its planners and attendees, and thus resulting in more such events that provide pleasure and fulfillment for the women that make them happen.
Q: I have never heard of CFNM events. Where and when did they begin?
A: We have created a page on this site that provides a detailed discussion on it's origins and history, and we recommend all newcomers to read it.
But the key thing to note is that the acronym "CFNM" was created in 1995 to describe a unique characteristic of all CFNM events in that it is a mandatory requirement for all men to remain completely naked whereas women are never nude. This requirement is solely for the benefit of the females, not the males. The intended atmosphere is one of empowerment of women while concurrently assuring that all women present remain comfortable and feel secured. As discussed elsewhere, CFNM parties are never orchestrated as a conduit for sex between the genders. Open sex at CFNM events is always prohibited, otherwise they cease being "clothed-female/naked-male".
Q: Are CFNM parties for-profit enterprise?
A: CFNM parties are for the enjoyment of both genders attending, not to generate income. Only legitimate CFNM parties are done such that any "donations" requested from participants are essentially made to cover costs of the event and/or to build a reserve for upfront costs of the next CFNM event.
Q: What are these parties like? Are there just a bunch of horny naked guys?
A: CFNM gatherings typically do not focus on the sexual arousal of the men attending; rather, all parties are first and foremost intended to meet the interests, needs, desires, expectations and comfort of the ladies attending over that of the men, which we call our "Female-First Doctrine". And if those ladies are obtuse to activities designed to arouse the men, such activities shall not occur. Alternatively, if the females attending want such activities, then it becomes part of the event's agenda, again at the sole discretion of the women. Optimally, there is a good balance between the number of men and woman, and at many CFNM functions the social interaction can be as tame as a traditional cocktail gathering or social event whereby people talk about their jobs, fashion, hobbies, what they do and where they have traveled. However, depending upon the women coming and their interests, the parties can be more adult-oriented, but again, always putting the female perspective and wants ahead of the men. And if men find that focusing on the female interests above their own is sexually arousing to them, well we say good for them! Such a male attitude is optimal for a good CFNM atmosphere.
Some CFNM events are orchestrated exclusively for the BDSM/S&M community, which typically includes aspects female domination. For those into female domination fetishes, CFNM is often referred to as "CFnm", which emphasizes the "D/s" label used to describe the Dominant/submissive relationship between the Female and males. Having a CFNM, or alternatively, CFnm protocol at female domination gatherings provides a very appropriate compliment to such activities. And the clothed-female/naked male protocol means labeling it as a CFNM or CFnm event is also an appropriate usage of the acronym. However, it is incorrect to assume CFNM is exclusive to BDSM and/or female domination as its use is far broader with more applications than just BDSM. And those that make such an exclusive association between CFNM and BDSM have a limited and wrong understanding as to its correct meaning and history. CFNM can also describe gatherings void of any domination activities that are held solely to satiate the prurient appetite of being exposed to naked flesh by the women attending. And between these two different orientations, there can be a lot of overlap.
Q: Will there be open sex between participants?
A: No. CFNM events are not "swinger" gatherings or orgies. Open sex between genders is prohibited at CFNM gatherings. Further, men are forbidden from touching women in a sexual manner, and may only touch a woman in a non-sexual manner when she so indicates it is acceptable. One of the reasons women are prohibited from removing any clothing at any time is to assure that no participants can engage in sexual activity. However, in accordance with the Female-First Doctrine, some CFNM gatherings allow the women to touch, grab, grope, fondle or caress any part of a nude man, including his genitals, at any time she desires. However, such touching policies are strictly up to the ladies orchestrating the event, and up to the discretion of the respective lady initiating the touching.
Q: How do you determine what men are invited?
A: To answer this, it must be noted that all men are told in advance that 1) there will be no sexual activities occurring between participants, 2) despite it being mandatory that all men are to remain completely naked at all times when in the presence of the women, they will never have any opportunity to see any female nudity whatsoever at anytime during the gathering, and 3) all protocol, activities and agendas they must abide to are orchestrated exclusively by women absent any male attendees having a voice in the matter. Yet despite this, men still almost always outnumber the women at CFNM gatherings. This inequity in the number of men wanting to come allows the women to be more discerning in selecting the men invited. One of the most important criterion women use in selecting a potential male attendee is their being convinced he will display a highly respectful, polite and pleasant attitude that fully embraces their policies and rules without question and never voicing demands or conditions. Men must first evidence they understand the theme and intent of the party, and any attempt to change the atmosphere or activities to suit their own agenda will result in their automatically being rejected. The men selected to attend should all realize that their sole reward for being subjected to such an "unfair" dress code and the other female-oriented rules they must obey is their knowledge that they have pleased the women by their total compliance. It is the pleasure of the women created by such male compliance, which is complimented by the pleasure of the men in knowing their compliance created such pleasure, that creates a harmony that makes a successful CFNM event such a wonderful experience for all attending. And it is those men that understand this that typically make the final list for those invited.
Although a variety of men are invited, it is only logical that at certain CFNM gatherings, women may want to include well built, athletic men. This should not be surprising to men as men usually admit to preference in seeing nude women that are slender and young. Men that have maintained good physiques and taken care of themselves may rise quicker on the invitee list. So our advice is that whaver your age, don't be a couch potato. Hitting the gym and maintaining proper grooming only helps your chances of being invited to CFNM gatherings.
Q: As a male, how can I best assure getting on the list of invitees?
A: There are a number of things a man can do to push him to the top of the list. First is how you approach the women planning the event. If you are using a Facebook page or a profile photo on a dating sight, you should avoid photos that make you look like a "creep". Regular photos of you enjoying work, your hobbies and friends are best. If you are on an adult site such a Friendfinder or Fetlife that allows nude photos, avoid the cock-shot photos! Cock-shot photos scream of unchecked libido and desperation, and you're probably the only one getting aroused by such exposure. A multitude of normal photos showing you're a normal guy will make the women feel more at ease. Nude photos buried in your profile are usually fine given the nature of what it is you want to attend, but should not be your first introduction to those visiting your profile for the first time.
In your initial conversations, avoid launching into questions or suggestions about the activities you hope to experience. Women are very aware of what men want as men are never shy about constantly barraging them with such things as requests for webcam chats, or, to discuss matters that give them wanking fodder as they type messages with one hand. The first thing to do is listen, observe and be helpful. Learn the culture in detail of the CFNM event planned as opposed to assuming things. And avoid the temptation to contact female participants in suggesting one-off engagements until you know the woman will not resist and tell the others.
And another matter that although is brutally obvious to most, seems to elude many men...hygiene. Before event, bathe and wash the under regions. Shave cleanly and wear your best, clean clothes to the event. As it pertains to your pubic hair, the women we surveyed almost unanimously said they preferred pubic hair to be trimmed way back with the penis and balls clearly viewable and silky smooth. Some even prefer a total shave of all pubic hair, which in our experience is the best way all around. Presenting your clean, shaven genitals to the women at the event is your statement to them that you respect them and want to make sure their viewing experience when looking at your penis and testicles is a pleasurable one. Women do indeed pick up on such gestures and appreciate it, and is part of the whole ensemble you present in your attempt to get invited to the next CFNM gathering.
There are, of course, many other things that make women more interested in you, but these are no different than the same things you would want to follow in your ordinary activities to garner such female interest. There are a number of books on the subject, and my favorite has always been Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
Q: How do you determine what women are invited?
A: If the venue has a capacity size issue, women are admitted on a first-come basis until we are at capacity. All women must be at least 18 years or older, and at least 21 years if they bring alcohol (no alcohol is served). Because the number of women attending is less than that of the men, and provided there's room, most CFNM gatherings allow all woman interested in attending.
Q: I'm female, but am not a "Barbie" type. Will I be in the minority?
A: Absolutely not. CFNM events are about empowering women and making them feel good about themselves. The goal of all CFNM gatherings should be the celebration of being female without judgment or concern about body image, and thus a cross-section of the female population is represented including all ages, ethnicities and looks. Because women are never to disrobe or expose themselves, they typically wear clothing that makes them feel attractive yet something they'd wear in public. And because other women are dressed commensurately, it's easy to fit right in.
Q: How many party guests come, and what is the typical female-to-male ratio?
A: Each CFNM party is very different. The amount of guests coming depends on the goal of the party planners and the size of venue. Some CFNM gatherings are just a few people that know each other whereas we have witnessed others with as many as 60 men and women in attendance. We have learned that a CFNM party with more women than men allows first-time female guests to feel more at ease, but is a very hard goal to hit.
Q: Will I be safe and not hassled by the guys?
A: The protocol for CFNM parties are more protective for women than at most any other bar or party. Our Female-First Doctrine assures this, and all must agree in writing to protect the comfort and sense of security of all females present. Men are not allowed to approach any female in a sexual way, nor, put "the moves" on women. Men may not touch a woman inappropriately or in any sexual way at any time, nor try to coerce her into doing anything she is uncomfortable doing as that would result in his eviction. Females that have attended CFNM parties attest that the guys are friendly and courteous. In fact, many of the guys feel awkward and helpless being stark naked in the presence of a female they are meeting for the first time, so it often requires initiative of the women to get the men more engaged. Lastly, men are select based upon their understanding and agreeing to our Female-First Doctrine. Any male that does not observe the protocol will be asked to leave and there are usually designated males to enforce proper male conduct. The goal of CFNM is comfort and pleasure of women, which is the foundation of its purpose.
Q: I'm just a woman that enjoys a little voyeurism, and I love the "Haha - I can see you but you can't see me!" aspect this party provides. Is this for me?
A: Definitely. CFNM parties are for women like you that enjoy seeing the "secrets" the men can't hide, but also for women that enjoy being more empowered in a social setting which is enhanced by having nude men vulnerably exposed and catering to the women, who are in control. Our parties cater to both of these themes, and some women enjoy both simultaneously. But there is another equally as important agenda, and that is for people to have a good time and get to know each other as with any other fun party. Some women come to meet men hoping for a post-party friendship, which is very possible given we typically come from the same general region. Connections between clothed woman and naked man at CFNM parties do indeed evolve to more intimate connections outside of the event, but that's just a happy serendipitous furtherance of the relationships made at CFNM gatherings, not the intent for hosting them.
Q: I'm male, and feel the policies whereby it is mandatory for only the men to be nude is unfair! Why not make it nude for both?
A: You are absolutely correct...it is unfair! But being unfair is part of the purpose of CFNM. One of the great aspects of CFNM is that there is an implicit double-standard that creates a gender imbalance, and is the exact opposite of historical trends where women are objectified. It is this very inequity that makes our CFNM so wonderfully unique as it turns the tables on the societal norm wherein it is the women that are expected to reveal themselves. But not only do we recognize this "unfairness", but do what we can to both enhance and celebrate it. The unspoken power and control element when a vulnerably naked person is in the presence of a fully clothed person of the opposite gender is an integral part of the erotic tension of our parties. And no, it will never change for any of our CFNM events. For the men that have trouble accepting this key aspect of CFNM events, we invite you to go enjoy other events of a different theme. And if that is you, we recommend not applying to attend a CFNM event as you will be both disappointed and frustrated. And we won't miss you as there is a long list of men that will happily accept the double-standard CFNM presents as a positive thing.
Q: I'm a male, and would enjoy wearing a sexy g-string, or alternatively, a jock strap or cock pouch that covers my genitals.. It is still very revealing. Would wearing these be acceptable?
A: We are often asked by men if their wearing a g-string, jock strap or bikini briefs could substitute for full nudity - the answer is unequivocally - NO. Women orchestrating and attending CFNM gatherings are very clear about this - they want to be able to view the genitals of the men attending unobstructed as well as being able to see their nude rears - so to be clear, all men must keep their penises and testicles completely uncovered and in full view of all women at all times during the party Their decision that men are not to wear such coverings is theirs to make, and it must be obeyed by all men attending. There have been some CFNM events where the ladies had the men put on a fetish fashion show demonstrating the use of chastity devices, cock rings and the like. However, if and when this type of activity occurs at a CFNM event, it is only temporary and immediately afterward all men must remove such attire returning them to a state of complete nakedness for the remainder of the event.
Q: I have a small penis and am not sure the women would want a guy of my size coming. Is this party for me?
A: We have never observed women selecting men to attend based upon their cock size. Penis size is usually more of a male issue than female. Women are more interested in what's attached to your penis and what lies between your ears. A man with a small dick but wonderful attitude will always win out over an overly endowed man with an arrogant and presumptuous attitude. Further, many women come to enjoy viewing the array and differences in the all the attributes of the men's nude bodies, including the sizes and shapes of their penises and balls. So if your size is inconsistent with the other men, you should view it as an opportunity to add pleasure to the ladies' viewing experience by giving them an additional yet different sampling of male genitalia to look at. And you should know by now, it's the pleasure of the women that is always most important!
However, it should be noted that there is a subset of CFNM, or rather, CFnm parties that incorporation humiliation of the men into the agenda. This is not tied just to humiliating men about their penises, but is part of the female domination fetish that dominants and submissives enjoy. If a gathering your attending has a femdom leaning, there indeed may include humiliation tactics used by the women. To this end, some of these women take delight in drawing attention to a specific nude man's lack of endowment and ridiculing him about it in front of the other ladies followed by their laughter. But this ridicule is all part of the domination game, and is usually enjoyed as much by the submissive man being humiliated as the dominant woman emasculating him about his manhood. Of course, you will know before attending such an event where the mind set of these women are, and if they are into this type of thing. In addition, it is always important to discuss what's to be expected prior to attending any event like a CFNM party. But this type of humiliation enjoyment is a minor pursuit in the overall CFNM culture.
Q: How much of this is about female domination and female supremacy?
A: This is an important question, and the CFNM gathering can go either way depending upon the culture and group attending. First, the very aspect of inequity created by mandatory CFNM attire is an act of empowerment of women and the elevation of their stature in the social gathering. When combined with an expectation that all men attending are to be polite and respectful while demonstrating obeyance to the rules and protocol set exclusively by the women set, it naturally attracts many interested in female domination and BDSM activities. However, of the women surveyed in an open poll where they were introduced to CFNM, only about one-third indicated that they would be either interested in experiencing, or, simply allowing, female domination activities to occur. Of those interested, a good number indicated they were not into it, but might enjoy watching it or at least not object to others enjoying it in their presence. This leaves two-thirds of the women wanting to enjoy CFNM for reasons other than female domination. The key is to make sure you understand the mindset of those orchestrating the event, and ascertain if they represent the type of CFNM party of which you have an interest.
For the CFNM/CFnm parties that are indeed geared towards BDSM and/or female domination, the atmosphere and activities run the gamut from mild to wild, tame to insane. One popular CFNM gathering is known as a "tea party" wherein women dress in comely attire and are served by dutiful and obedient male waiters and servers, who are of course nude with the exception of, say, a bowtie or polished shoes and gloves. The atmosphere at tea parties are subdued compared to other CFnm gatherings, and the male servers usually only speak when spoken to while never drawing attention to themselves, such as sporting an uncontrolled erection. At tea parties, play activities typically do not occur. However, for harder-core CFnm domination gathering, the men may be subjected to a multitude of forms of humiliation such as groveling on their hands and knees, being made foot stools, or, receiving spanking, slapping, flogging or acts of CBT as part of the fun. This latter type of CFnm gathering is usually orchestrated by professional dominatrixes and are often held in a fetish dungeon with higher costs to the men. Here again it is important to connect with those attending in advance to know what may be expected.
Q: Are your CFNM parties geared towards a feminist doctrine?
A: Although our events do not claim to promote feminism or be part of any feminist doctrine, many feminists have indeed indicated it is consistent with feminism and they like it. Realizing that feminists often have heated debates even among themselves as to what constitutes "feminism", one consistent theme is the attempt to elevate the political, economic, personal and social rights of women. So from our perspective, CFNM does exactly that, but in a very different context. Because female empowerment is the major goal for CFNM, it takes the concept of "female equality" to a higher level while honoring the value and importance of women in this unique social context. Also, the role reversal of the traditional objectification of females to that of objectification of men also strikes a happy cord with some feminists with whom we have spoken. In fact, a feminist founder of a web group devoted to feminism knew of feminism, and wrote me an email commending this author on the brilliance of CFNM. Although our CFNM events have never been characterized as being specific to feminism, we strive to make sure feminists know we support their movement fully and hope that at the very least, CFNM is complimentary to their cause. And we are always happy when they come to our CFNM gatherings. We would be honored if feminists openly deem CFNM is so closely aligned with feminism that they would allow us to use that term as part of a description as to what CFNM is about, but until then, we cannot claim such an honor.
Q: When a party is in the BDSM/Female Domination genre, are there ever any submissive females allowed?
A: There are often submissive females that desire to be part of a CFnm gathering as a submissive. Each party is unique and there admittance to the event to serve in a submissive role is up to those hosting the event. However, this author has never heard of female subs ever being denied. What typically happens is that the submissive females wear something that sets them apart as servers such as a French maid's outfit or fetish clothing designating submissiveness, but, they never expose any part of their body that would constitute nudity. Her role is to serve the other dominant women, which includes acting as the head waitress/server and overseeing any and all males to assure their proper service. The men report to her and obey her directions, and, all must of course be naked thereby preserving the CFNM theme while also still maintaining the Females First Doctrine. Thus, there are subservient females present while concurrently maintaining the clothed-female/naked-male mandate. This result can be very harmonious and consistent with everyone's interests.
Q: Can I bring some girlfriends? Alternatively, can I bring my boyfriend/husband/male roommate?
A: Yes! We encourage all first-time ladies to bring friends of either gender as it will make them feel more comfortable, although many women do come alone and make new friends while having great time. All we ask is that any friends that accompany our guests must first be vetted with those planning the CFNM event, and both understand and agree to the purpose and mission of CFNM. Also, they may need to sign some form of agreement, depending upon the event and venue. We also caution against "dragging" a friend to a CFNM gathering solely because someone needs their company and support. If they do not like the CFNM environment, they will make it unpleasant for you as well as others attending. Also, any male guests coming must follow all the rules as though they came separately, including the mandatory nudity rule for men.
In addition, any couple coming must be secure in their relationship and not be prone to jealousy. Women must be comfortable with their nude significant other being the object of other women's interest while men must be comfortable with their female counterpart potentially showing interest in other nakede men, which is all only natural. But our experience is that couples typically have the best time at our CFNM gatherings as they typically enjoy themselves to their fullest while knowing they will leave the event together.
Q: What do the women wear? Although it is not required for girls to undress, is female nudity permissible?
A: Unlike the dress of men (or rather lack thereof), CFNM parties vary insofar as dress the women wear, and it's best to check with the planners in advance. Some parties are theme-based and others such as "high teas" may require the women to wear more formal Victoria Era dress. At these formal gatherings, the men may also be required to wear a bowtie, polished leather shoes and black socks and white gloves, but are otherwise naked. Sometimes, dressing sexy is encouraged, although casual and comfortable dress is the norm. You will need to dress comfortably if the event is held outdoors, which may mean a sun dress, pants or even a swim suit if there is a pool or hot tub. If a change in dress is needed for the women, their modesty is always projected with private female-only dressing areas.
To reiterate, protocol always requires all women to remain fully clothed at all times, and even going topless is a violation of the rules. Unless indicated otherwise, women should dress in what would typically be acceptable at a public function that has a similar theme of dress for women. Thus, wearing only, say a bra and panties would be considered immodest and inappropriate for women attending most CFNM gatherings. In fact, of the 400 women that responded to our open survey on Craigslist and elsewhere, women all agreed that women should remain properly dressed throughout a CFNN party, and for four reasons. First, if women also got nude, it would change the atmosphere potentially provoking sexual play between participants, which is contrary to the fundamental purpose of CFNM. Second, many women come with the understanding they will not be required to undress and if others do, they may feel at a disadvantage, particularly if the women feel insecure about their body image. Third, couples often come and some wives have indicated they would feel uneasy watching their nude husbands mingle with other nude women while they themselves are not (again, our parties are designed for the woman's interests over the man's and the men's reverse concern are irrelevant). And forth, we want to preserve the very unique dynamic, that is all women are clothed whereas all men are nude and the resulting imbalance of comfort and power between the genders it creates.
Q: Is this legal?
A: CFNM events are typically private gatherings on private property, and there is usually no commercial association with them. Even though "sex parties" and orgies are often times legal at such private venues, CFNM does not include such activities. And simply being nude is not illegal on private property provided the activities cannot be seen from the street. Collectively, these assure CFNM gatherings are legal in almost all jurisdictions. Of course, if the activities are held at, say, a dungeon in a commercial district, the same ordinances that govern activities of that venue would apply.
Q: Can I bring a camera and photograph the participants?
A: The privacy of all members must be respected at all times, not only during the event but before and after as well. Photography is off limits to most areas of the even, and at no time shall anyone be photographed without their knowledge and permission. Many women have indicated they would want to bring cameras and take photos at the party for mementos; therefore in accordance with the Female-First Doctrine, the CFNM planners sometimes set aside a secluded and marked area wherein photography is allowed between willing participants. In addition, photography in this area can also be limited to certain hours. In the event these photo ops exist, all guests being photographed must grant permission in advance. Another option is having theatrical (such as Venetian) masks on hand for the men and women wanting to be photographed while hiding their identities All cameras and cell phones are to remain in cases, purses, bags, etc., to assure no photography occurs outside of the approved area and conditions.
Q: I love flirting with and sexually taunting guys. How do you feel about prick teasing women?
A: For many of us, the only challenges with prick teasing women is that there aren't enough! Prick teasing a man can be a fun way for a woman to torment him into sporting an uncontrolled and embarrassing erection for all the other ladies to see. It is not only acceptable, but sometimes becomes the theme for games and activities where the goal of the ladies is to make the naked guys hard without ever touching their cocks. It also confirms for women the success of prick teasing techniques they've been using as such success is instantly proven for all to see.
Q: Will the guys be getting erections?
A: First, it is important to differentiate between the different types of CFNM/CFnm gatherings. In a more subdued CFnm tea party where the men quietly wait and speak only when spoken to, erections are uncommon, although still happen. In such settings, when they happen, attention is not given them. Alternatively, in CFNM gatherings with a higher level of interaction and activities between genders, erections are not only common, but sometimes the norm. But unlike typical nudist events, CFNM parties are erection-friendly and provide both fun and visual enjoyment for the ladies. For men, we assure them that they should feel comfortable with sporting an erection at any time and not worry about conceiling it. The vast majority of the 400 women from our open survey indicated they would enjoy the opportunity to see erections on the men at CFNM parties. So for men that are uneasy and possibly homophobic about being around other nude men with erections, they, should either check their ill-founded issues at the door, or not come.
Q: Do men ever pleasure themselves for the ladies to watch?
A: The answer to this varies depending upon the event. Many women into female domination, and, especially those that host tea parties, view such acts as being undesirable and inconsistent with the type of male servitude they expect. This again illustrates a very important reason to have a female-only planning committee that can discuss such matters and establish a consistent policy, then communicate that policy prior to the event. It is very important for men and women attending these events to communicate with the party's planners in advance. Our advice is that whenever there is an inconsistency between varying opinions in such matters, it's always best to err on the side that makes sure all women are the most comfortable, even if others feel the party is losing some of its spice.
However, in our survey of 400 women that had interest in CFNM gatherings, which was a cross-section of the female population, a majority of women indicated that they would enjoy watching at lease some of the men masturbate. In fact, out of the 380 women that responded to the specific question, 238 (63%) indicated that "If requested by the woman, guys asked should self pleasure themselves for the ladies to watch". Of the remaining women, many were also in favor of having the men masturbate for the viewing please of the ladies, but felt they should not be obligated to do it solely because a woman requested it.
A number of the women commented that they had never had an opportunity to watch a man masturbate in person, and felt it would be both educational and fun to observe a number of the men doing it simultaneously and be able to observe the different techniques each man secretly uses when he masturbates. In fact, when asked if they would like to have a planned masturbation contest between the men at the party, a majority of the female respondents (207 women - 53%) indicated they would indeed like such an activity. However, on the opposite side, many of the men surveyed felt it was a very private thing, and would find it uncomfortable if not extremely embarrassing to do in front of so many women at once. A few commented that they are not only shy about it, but found it hard to even admit to a woman they masturbated. So it is equally important for not only the women, but also the men to communicate with the women planning the event to determine if the party will have activities too edgy for their comfort.
Events this author has personally attended have gone both ways. But in accordance with the Female-First Doctrine, whatever policy regarding men openly masturbating is established by the women in advance and subsequently communicated, once made it then becomes on obligation for which all men coming should comply. If such an activity is on the agenda or is a rule, and if a man then requested to masturbate in front of some of the women eager to watch him do it, he is thus obligated to obey the request despite any discomfort or embarrassment it may cause him. Further, he should view their request as an honor they are giving him as they are providing him the opportunity to prove to them he fully embraces the mandate for all men to put the women's pleasure above their own discomfort and embarrassment. So if his blushing and embarrassment is met with their pointed comments, giggles and laughter, he should focus on the pleasure drawn from this opportunity to demonstrate to them they made a good selection in inviting him. And when that satisfaction is combined with their amusement at watching him - even when their laughter is at his expense - it becomes a win-win for both him and the women in a way that makes CFNM a great experience for those at the event.
Therefore, assuming the female planners and ladies attending want such an activity, having the men masturbate for the women in whatever manner the women want as a planned activity can be delightful and perfectly appropriate for CFNM parties. And the recognition of these men's willingness to comply to the ladies' instructions, regardless of their reticence, can be an important consideration for ladies when determining which men are invited back again.
Q: Can I touch the guys?
A: Again, at the tea parties, women touching the men usually will not occur as the mission is strictly about servitude. At other CFNM gatherings, Women are usually granted the right to explore any part of a manís body through touching, holding, caressing or fondling any part of his body provided it does not evolve into open sexual activity. It is also a standard provision that women may initiate such touch in advance of an approval from the man. However, if such touching creates an uncomfortable situation for anyone, guests may request such contact to stop and all others must abide by such requests. Participants may kiss, hug and caress, provided it is initiated by the female and both are consenting; however, it must stop before it progresses to the man fondling private parts of the ladies. If any man attempts to touch or contact a female in any way she does not like, he will be asked to leave the party.
Q: What type of games/contests will be played?
A: The activities, games and contests should be discussed with the party planners well in advance as they can be fun while breaking the ice, but may also be a bit too "edgy" for others. Because planned activities for CFNM gatherings include so many options, we have created an entire separate section of our CFNM Village Website for this subject matter.